Perhaps 'poor' Pamela isn't quite as deserving of my sympathies as I had at first thought. It seems some people will do ANYTHING to deflect attention (negative attention at least) away from themselves.
As I mentioned yesterday, everyone in here was gossiping about her. She was the main topic of inane chat around the water cooler and they were all asking those of us who were actually there to witness this traversty (boring Brenda's word's-not mine) for the truth about what went on.
Of course out of some unspoken sisterhood loyalty I refused to be drawn on the subject and kept myself to myself for most of the day. I was the last person who wanted to get involved in office tittle-tattle right now, given my own sordid situation!
Naturally throughout the day the rumours that were spreading like wild fire around the place got more and more twisted, until, by around 4pm I actually heard from dopey Debbie in accounts that Pamela had been involved in a 'wife-swapping' senario, which had led to Pamela herself becoming embroiled in a torrid affair with her best friends husband. The friend had allegedly found out, and, after an initial period of understandable shock, had suggested that the two couples live in harmony in the one house, happily ever after. Half the office believed that this actual situation was real and had been a kept secret by Pamela for several months now, until at last, on Saturday night at the hen, said 'best friend' had decided she could keep her love for Pamela's betrothed a dirty secret no longer and announced it for all the world to hear!
This, of course, was a load of old tosh!
Pamela's fiance was just a bollocks, like the rest of mankind!
I felt so bad for her that I decided I would try and speak to Pam, try and make her feel better, let her know that she wasn't the only one to be dumped on from a great height. Maybe it's something to do with falling out with Cass (we still haven't spoken by the way) but I'm feeling all 'sister's unite' today, so I sidled up to her desk while everyone else had gone off to the canteen for a brew (she, like me, obviously prefered not to be around everyone else just now and had hung on in the office).
'I know what you're going through' I told her in a low voice,- probably a little too secret-agent-like if I'm honest.
When she looked up at me with tear-stained eye's I gave in and let the cat out of the bag, telling her all about Mark and how he'd left me out of the blue for some floozy.
Pamela sat in silence taking it all in and for a moment I felt we had some weird 'dumpee' connection. As a result I told her all about the 'other' woman and how Mark wanted to sell our house and get a divorce. Her sad eye's lit up and I really believed I had managed to cheer her up by sharing.
Feeling she had my back, once I had finished my story of woe I added 'You will keep this to yourself Pamela, won't you'?
She nodded-quite sheepishly now that I think of it actually-and before I could receive my sympathy hug and pat-on-the-back for being one of the sisterhood she was up from her seat and away off to follow the rest of the office gossips into the canteen.
I knew immedialtely that I had made a ginormous error-Pamela was gonna sacrifice me in order to save herself!
She was going to tell them my secret.
By the time I was ready to clock off at 5pm I could already hear the whispering from all the way down the corridor. People were turning their backs on me to snigger as I entered a room. The girls who sat across from me in the office were looking at me with doe-eyed sympathy and I just knew that everybody knew!
No longer was Pamela-the cow- the subject of office gossip. Now it was all focused on something much more interesting and juicy-ME! After all, what could be more pathetic than a woman who had shreiked and -dare-I-say-it-boasted with pride while her collegues had cooed and fawned over her wedding photos not three years ago, only to be unceremoniously dumped by her 'darling' hubby before they'd even had chance to celebrate their third anniversary?
I was a laughing stock, just as I had feared I would be. So much for sisterhood!
I got out of there as quickly as I could but made sure to flash my angriest scowl towards Pam on the way out.
I heard her mutter something like:
'It just slipped out Ruby' as I fled the building.
'Yeah, not out of your best friend though, it would seem'! I wanted to shout back....
What do I do about Cass? I feel terrible and part of me thinks I should ring her and apologise...the other half thinks that would be admitting that I had a crappy marriage...which I didn't! I need advice.
Sep 9, 2009
Part 12-in which I am forced to hear some home truths...
Poor Pamela!
She didn't show at work for the last two days, but she's arrived in this morning and I can tell by her face that she's feeling a lot like I did only a few weeks ago (not that I'm feeling any better today). Already the whole office is either all over her-offering their useless sympathies- or avoiding her like the plague and whispering in corners...'was it true'?...'will she take him back'?...'how could she not have known'?...Exactly what I don't want to happen to me.
I kind of feel like maybe I should go and talk to her, let her know she isn't the only one crap like this happens to, but I'm so terrified of blowing my cover that I just don't think I can. I'll leave it for now and see how the day goes. We're not that close, it might be awkward.
So anyway, speaking of awkward, I had dinner last night with Cass and I'm not sure how, but we sort of ended up having an arguament! I'm devastated because Cass is like my oldest friend and I really need her at the moment, but she said some stuff about Mark that really upset me, and I know she's probably just trying to show solidarity by being on my side, but it hurt me so much I snapped and chewed her face off for it!
When I thought about it afterwards I couldn't believe I did that! It's like I'm still defending him and sticking up for him even after everything he's done to me, though I can't think why. But when Cass told me he'd always been a user and that I had always been blind to his behaviour I had to confront her on it...didn't I?
Worse still, she said she never really thought he loved me! Er, why don't you stick a knife through my heart while you're at it sister? Or at least that I'd loved him more. But that's normal isn't it? For one partner to love the other more?
How could we have loved each other equally? Impossible! Just cos Cass thinks she has the perfect relationship with Dave she judges everyone else by the measure of it, which is obviously completely unfair.
She said Mark never did anything nice for me,-but it's not all about money is it? Then she said we never did stuff together (like her and Dave-see what I mean?) but that's just because we didn't like to smother each other-Mark liked his space...well, we both did...that's healthy, right?
Then she told me he had always taken advantage of me, letting me do all of the housework and never helping out! That's not true, sometimes Mark took the bins out for me! Besides, he was old-fashioned like that. He believed men and women had seperate roles and the mans was to earn the dosh while the womans was to 'keep' house (whatever that means). Except, I went out to work too, obviously, but that's modern life for you isn't it? I work because I want to.
She apologised for saying all that stuff but she told me she could hold back no longer. Now that the 'bastard' had dumped me for an 'even bigger eejit' (her words, I swear!) it was time for me to wake up and realise that I'm better off without him! Time to move on and stop moping, time to get myself a life.
I was crushed to find out what she really thought and I fought back because I felt defensive. I said some things about her and Dave that we both know weren't true (they truly are the perfect couple, even in anger I can see that) and we left seperately and not speaking. I feel terrible!
Perhaps she thought it might be a good way to help me to get over Mark, or maybe it really is what she thinks-in which case, why didn't she tell me this before I married him?
Am I right to be upset with her, after all Mark did cheat on me and maybe Cass has a point? I'm so confused right now I don't know where to turn. First I lost my husband, now my best friend! What the hell is happening to me?
Poor Pam probably thinks things can't get any worse...little does she know!
She didn't show at work for the last two days, but she's arrived in this morning and I can tell by her face that she's feeling a lot like I did only a few weeks ago (not that I'm feeling any better today). Already the whole office is either all over her-offering their useless sympathies- or avoiding her like the plague and whispering in corners...'was it true'?...'will she take him back'?...'how could she not have known'?...Exactly what I don't want to happen to me.
I kind of feel like maybe I should go and talk to her, let her know she isn't the only one crap like this happens to, but I'm so terrified of blowing my cover that I just don't think I can. I'll leave it for now and see how the day goes. We're not that close, it might be awkward.
So anyway, speaking of awkward, I had dinner last night with Cass and I'm not sure how, but we sort of ended up having an arguament! I'm devastated because Cass is like my oldest friend and I really need her at the moment, but she said some stuff about Mark that really upset me, and I know she's probably just trying to show solidarity by being on my side, but it hurt me so much I snapped and chewed her face off for it!
When I thought about it afterwards I couldn't believe I did that! It's like I'm still defending him and sticking up for him even after everything he's done to me, though I can't think why. But when Cass told me he'd always been a user and that I had always been blind to his behaviour I had to confront her on it...didn't I?
Worse still, she said she never really thought he loved me! Er, why don't you stick a knife through my heart while you're at it sister? Or at least that I'd loved him more. But that's normal isn't it? For one partner to love the other more?
How could we have loved each other equally? Impossible! Just cos Cass thinks she has the perfect relationship with Dave she judges everyone else by the measure of it, which is obviously completely unfair.
She said Mark never did anything nice for me,-but it's not all about money is it? Then she said we never did stuff together (like her and Dave-see what I mean?) but that's just because we didn't like to smother each other-Mark liked his space...well, we both did...that's healthy, right?
Then she told me he had always taken advantage of me, letting me do all of the housework and never helping out! That's not true, sometimes Mark took the bins out for me! Besides, he was old-fashioned like that. He believed men and women had seperate roles and the mans was to earn the dosh while the womans was to 'keep' house (whatever that means). Except, I went out to work too, obviously, but that's modern life for you isn't it? I work because I want to.
She apologised for saying all that stuff but she told me she could hold back no longer. Now that the 'bastard' had dumped me for an 'even bigger eejit' (her words, I swear!) it was time for me to wake up and realise that I'm better off without him! Time to move on and stop moping, time to get myself a life.
I was crushed to find out what she really thought and I fought back because I felt defensive. I said some things about her and Dave that we both know weren't true (they truly are the perfect couple, even in anger I can see that) and we left seperately and not speaking. I feel terrible!
Perhaps she thought it might be a good way to help me to get over Mark, or maybe it really is what she thinks-in which case, why didn't she tell me this before I married him?
Am I right to be upset with her, after all Mark did cheat on me and maybe Cass has a point? I'm so confused right now I don't know where to turn. First I lost my husband, now my best friend! What the hell is happening to me?
Poor Pam probably thinks things can't get any worse...little does she know!
Sep 7, 2009
Part 11-poor Pamela!
Okay, so you know I mentioned once or twice over the last few weeks how much I HATE hen-parties?
Well, I wish I was about to tell you that I've totally changed my opinion...but I'm not!
I was so certain all week that I was just going to 'drop out' of Pamela's hen party proceeding's at the very last minute, but after she roped me in to collect the costumes I felt unable to let her down. My 'guilty' button-something I've suffered with since childhood-is still very much switched to 'ON' and I am inherently unable to upset people or have them dislike me!
Besides, how bad would it have been if all of the girls had turned up in the tackiest bar in town, wearing only fishnets and pink leotards with no bunny ears and tails to finish the outfits? It would have been a catastrophe, that's what! But perhaps no worse than how things actually turned out....
The plan was that all of us hens would arrive at the bar early, dressed in afore-mentioned attire, and I would dish out the ears and tails so that we would be ready when Pamela and her sister Patricia arrived, a little later. And then we'd all dress Pam up like Jessica Rabbit, in a red PVC dress and wig, and the red bunny ears I'd also collected-the usual hen-night 'shenanigans'.
A good theme, you might think. And these things are all about the theme, aren't they?
Except that the PVC dress turned out to be a size or three too small for Pam and it took no less than 47 minutes, half a tonne of talcum powder (haven't a clue where that appeared from-the 80's perhaps?) and some excruciatingly embarrassing positions, to get the bride-to-be into costume!
Poor Pam!
Not that getting to a bar in town at such an early hour on a Saturday evening wearing nothing more than our underwear had been much of a laugh for the rest of us!
Though I had sworn to myself that I'd steer away from the bad alcohol (slammers, shots, cocktails, fish bowls) in order to keep both my mouth and my emotions in check, it wasn't long before I found myself included in a round of tequila slammers, followed by a round of Sambuca's! This wasn't the time or place to abstain from getting drunk, I quickly decided.
In fact, standing in the tackiest bar in town, wearing only tights and pink ears, surrounded by a group of twenty women who I could say I knew in varying degrees from 'fairly well' to 'not at all', and who could talk about nothing but marriage and weddings, I honestly couldn't think of a better time to be drunk!
By the time I'd started sipping the fourth cocktail on the menu (I was working my way through it one by one) the 'Mr. & Mrs.' quiz was over and the stripper had arrived.
Poor Pamela!
Either her sister (who'd made the booking) had a cruel sense of humour, or there had been some kind of mix-up, because instead of the Brad Pitt look-alike we'd all been promised, we were faced with a WOMAN! And not a very attractive one at that! She was in her mid-to-late 50's and considerably over-weight!
'Sorry girls' the stripper-or 'sexy Silvia' as we later found out she was called -apologised, as she began her routine. 'There's been a cock-up with our bookings I think. I'm supposed to be doing a stag party for a second wedding tonight! I was booked by the bride.'
Yes, I could see why.
Don't ask me why she went on to perform her routine, but she did! And poor Pam's face said it all! Gutted! She was having an awful night. She certainly didn't appear to enjoy having Silvia bend her over and spank her buttocks with a cane!
I dread to think how the stag's took the arrival of our 'Brad'!
As a result we all got more and more drunk...and missed our booking for dinner!
Then, after several more shots which included an 'orgasm' and the dreaded 'slippery nipple' Pamela began to talk loudly about how much she loved her 'wonderful' fiance Colin, and how she couldn't wait to get married. I suddenly felt very nauseous and scarily, a bit weepy! Must keep mouth shut and say nothing...repeat after me.
But before I had a chance to say anything, another of Pamela's equally drunken friends piped up with this bombshell:
'You're not the only one...I love him too!'
Everyone in our large group fell silent. Ooops! Someone else who'd had more than one tequila too many it would seem! Turns out the friend has been having a bit of a fling with the groom-to-be, and we were treated to the gory details as Pamela blushed, then fumed, then ran away!
Poor Pamela!
The night was a total disaster but I went home feeling sad, yet strangely comforted by the fact that I am not the only mug in the world!
Even better, I am not the only mug in my office as it turns out...Is that cruel?
Well, I wish I was about to tell you that I've totally changed my opinion...but I'm not!
I was so certain all week that I was just going to 'drop out' of Pamela's hen party proceeding's at the very last minute, but after she roped me in to collect the costumes I felt unable to let her down. My 'guilty' button-something I've suffered with since childhood-is still very much switched to 'ON' and I am inherently unable to upset people or have them dislike me!
Besides, how bad would it have been if all of the girls had turned up in the tackiest bar in town, wearing only fishnets and pink leotards with no bunny ears and tails to finish the outfits? It would have been a catastrophe, that's what! But perhaps no worse than how things actually turned out....
The plan was that all of us hens would arrive at the bar early, dressed in afore-mentioned attire, and I would dish out the ears and tails so that we would be ready when Pamela and her sister Patricia arrived, a little later. And then we'd all dress Pam up like Jessica Rabbit, in a red PVC dress and wig, and the red bunny ears I'd also collected-the usual hen-night 'shenanigans'.
A good theme, you might think. And these things are all about the theme, aren't they?
Except that the PVC dress turned out to be a size or three too small for Pam and it took no less than 47 minutes, half a tonne of talcum powder (haven't a clue where that appeared from-the 80's perhaps?) and some excruciatingly embarrassing positions, to get the bride-to-be into costume!
Poor Pam!
Not that getting to a bar in town at such an early hour on a Saturday evening wearing nothing more than our underwear had been much of a laugh for the rest of us!
Though I had sworn to myself that I'd steer away from the bad alcohol (slammers, shots, cocktails, fish bowls) in order to keep both my mouth and my emotions in check, it wasn't long before I found myself included in a round of tequila slammers, followed by a round of Sambuca's! This wasn't the time or place to abstain from getting drunk, I quickly decided.
In fact, standing in the tackiest bar in town, wearing only tights and pink ears, surrounded by a group of twenty women who I could say I knew in varying degrees from 'fairly well' to 'not at all', and who could talk about nothing but marriage and weddings, I honestly couldn't think of a better time to be drunk!
By the time I'd started sipping the fourth cocktail on the menu (I was working my way through it one by one) the 'Mr. & Mrs.' quiz was over and the stripper had arrived.
Poor Pamela!
Either her sister (who'd made the booking) had a cruel sense of humour, or there had been some kind of mix-up, because instead of the Brad Pitt look-alike we'd all been promised, we were faced with a WOMAN! And not a very attractive one at that! She was in her mid-to-late 50's and considerably over-weight!
'Sorry girls' the stripper-or 'sexy Silvia' as we later found out she was called -apologised, as she began her routine. 'There's been a cock-up with our bookings I think. I'm supposed to be doing a stag party for a second wedding tonight! I was booked by the bride.'
Yes, I could see why.
Don't ask me why she went on to perform her routine, but she did! And poor Pam's face said it all! Gutted! She was having an awful night. She certainly didn't appear to enjoy having Silvia bend her over and spank her buttocks with a cane!
I dread to think how the stag's took the arrival of our 'Brad'!
As a result we all got more and more drunk...and missed our booking for dinner!
Then, after several more shots which included an 'orgasm' and the dreaded 'slippery nipple' Pamela began to talk loudly about how much she loved her 'wonderful' fiance Colin, and how she couldn't wait to get married. I suddenly felt very nauseous and scarily, a bit weepy! Must keep mouth shut and say nothing...repeat after me.
But before I had a chance to say anything, another of Pamela's equally drunken friends piped up with this bombshell:
'You're not the only one...I love him too!'
Everyone in our large group fell silent. Ooops! Someone else who'd had more than one tequila too many it would seem! Turns out the friend has been having a bit of a fling with the groom-to-be, and we were treated to the gory details as Pamela blushed, then fumed, then ran away!
Poor Pamela!
The night was a total disaster but I went home feeling sad, yet strangely comforted by the fact that I am not the only mug in the world!
Even better, I am not the only mug in my office as it turns out...Is that cruel?
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
