I went back to work today. It wasn't easy but i figured there's only so much Jeremy Kyle and Loose Women a mind can take before it begins to seize-up like an under-exercised muscle. Besides, they won't allow me any more sick pay without a doctor's note and I'm going to need all the cash i can get if i have to buy Mark out of our mortgage!
I haven't told anybody in the office about my 'situation' yet-I'd prefer not to be the main topic of conversation around the water-cooler for a while longer if i can- but i reckon the girls at the desks nearest mine might have worked something out. If not from my panda eye's then definitely from the lack of personal phone calls I've made during the day. They all used to laugh at how often i rang Mark at work, it became a running joke,-my nickname was actually 'bunny-boiler' for a few weeks when i first started! Just harmless fun of course, everyone knows there's nothing wrong with calling your own husband at work, even if it does happen to be 6 or 7 times a day, is there?
Anyway, if they did notice none of them commented. Perhaps they're showing their sensitive sides for once. We'll see how long that lasts...
Office life is as boring as ever. One of the girls-Pamela-is getting married next month. She has been going on about it for ages-you'd swear she's the first person in the world to ever get married!- and is organising her hen night for next weekend. I wasn't really looking forward to it before all this happened, but I'm really dreading it now! I'm furiously trying to come up with an excuse not to go! Why would i want to celebrate marriage? And don't even get me started on the wedding...
I found it really hard to concentrate all morning and kept checking my phone or flicking onto face book to see if i had any messages from Mark. None of course. But i just can't help checking.
Thank God Cass rang and asked if I'd like to meet up for lunch!
We met at a pub just around the corner and, feeling depressed and in need of a treat i had a glass of wine...and dessert! As we tucked into pasta and garlic bread i remembered my note to myself from the other night-to ask Cass what she'd meant when she said Mark had never been good enough for me. She blushed when i brought it up, which was odd, i thought. Cass doesn't embarrass easily. And she was quite snappy in her reply!
'I just meant he's never really been there for you 100%, has he' she bristled? 'And i think you're better off without him'.
Puzzled, i asked her what she'd meant but she brushed me off with some silly story about how, when I'd been too sick to go on this weekend trip to Amsterdam Mark and i had booked years ago, he had left me at home and gone anyway with one of his mates instead. I mean, talk about petty...
'But i told him to' i protested, which was the truth, although i had felt a bit put-out when he didn't refuse. And i still can't work out why I'm defending him now!
'Whatever' Cass replied, as if she couldn't be bothered to talk about it, and then she changed the subject! Maybe she and Dave had had a fight? Maybe there's something in the air...?
Now I'm struggling to get through the afternoon, what with the big lunch and accompanying glass of wine! We're not even supposed to drink during lunch hour and I'm terrified I'll be caught out! I just hope it hasn't loosened my tongue! At some point i know I'll have to admit I'm going through a 'separation', or whatever we call it these days...but i think I'll just wait until there's an even bigger scandal in here to take the lime-light away from me! That's one thing about this place...a scandal is never far away.
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