Ugh! I've woken up today feeling terrible. My head is throbbing so hard it must be visible to the naked eye. Or is that my heart? I'm so confused and fuzzy-minded it's difficult to tell.
The girls came over.
After my phone-call from Mark on Friday i rang my best mate Cass, who, although shocked at what i had to tell her, didn't seem as surprised as i was that my marriage was over. I couldn't quite work that one out.
Cass rang Lola and within the hour they had arrived on my doorstep armed with supplies of Vodka and wine, and enough chocolate to resolve the third world's hunger crisis (if only it's nutritional content were of any benefit- obviously).
Lola rubbed my back while i wept openly like a child, and Cass kept my glass topped up so that i didn't get thirsty from all the tears and talking. We all called Mark a bastard. They're such good mates.
Telling them about being dumped was so embarrassing, especially since Cass has been married to a really great bloke called Dave for what seems like forever, and Lola has a different rich and handsome fella on her arm every weekend!
But that's what mates are for, they reassured me, and after a while (and a few voddy's) i began to feel better.
'He was never good enough for you' Cass told me as she began to catch up in the alcohol stakes. I wasn't sure what she meant by this: I'd always thought all my friends loved Mark as much as i did! And though I'm sure i asked (something tells me i may have been quite repetitive in my enquiries), i was way too drunk to remember what her reasons were! I must make a note somewhere to ask her that question again when we're both sober.
Lola blurted out at some point that relationships are for losers and even Cass, being the great friend that she is, agreed with her! I think we all toasted to it actually!
The girls stayed over (there was talk of hitting a club but, flaked out on my living room floor at about 2.30, we all decided that we are way too old for that sort of thing and topped up our glasses of what i think had sometime ago turned into wine). I woke fully dressed and still lying on the floor at sometime on Sunday afternoon! There were chocolate stains all over my t-shirt.
It felt strangely liberating to wake up a mess, on the living-room carpet, surrounded by the girls! It had been a long time since those days and memories of my teenage years came flooding back. Since meeting Mark i had always made sure to clean off my make-up before bedtime, and always made sure i got into the right bed! I had somehow, without noticing it was happening, become sensible. I had become old!
We ordered take-away and the girls stayed over again. They refused to leave me alone at the weekend. I was so grateful to them because i knew Lola must have blown off a hot date and that Cass would surely be missing Dave! There's no way i could have spent a whole weekend away from Mark! Well, when i had a choice i mean!
Sunday night was a tiny bit more civilised. The girls wanted to know what i was going to do now...about the house, about the other things Mark and i had shared...about getting a divorce...
But i didn't want to talk about any of it.
Instead i got drunk again! And sang the songs from movies like Titanic and Dirty Dancing! Then i called Mark a bastard some more. Then I tore up some pictures i found in a drawer of me and Mark on holidays last year! And then i vomited! Does that mean I've got him out of my system now?
Cass and Lola went home yesterday morning, with sore heads admittedly, but back to their lives, back to normal.
I cried myself to sleep with a glass of vodka in my hand and woke up soaked in the stuff and feeling like this. Ugh!
I'm grateful for the interlude but it didn't change anything...except that i now have a broken heart and a throbbing head! Ugh!
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