Part 2-in which i wonder what Jeremy Kyle would say...

So it's been a week. Who'd have thought a week could feel so long? For the last ten years or so-since i was old enough to realise each day counts- each and every week of my life has wizzed past me faster than a greyhound chasing a stuffed Rabbit, but not this one.

I'm not sure how i got through it.

But it seems i did.

I'm not sure i can face another one though...

I haven't really left the house all week. I went into work for the first couple of days but it was just too hard to get up and face people after spending every night crying, screaming or just lying motionless for hours staring up at the ceiling (and the loose light fitting that he never got around to fixing since the day we moved in...).

I called in sick mid-week. It was easier than having to explain why i suddenly look like a drug-addict.

Technically i figure it isn't really a lie-i am sick-love sick or sick of life, or something like that. Take your pick.

I still haven't told anybody he's gone. I just can't bring myself to! What if he comes back? Then i'll just look really stupid won't i? Why bother humiliating myself if it can be avoided? I'll just give it a few more days...

Besides, i know my parents will just say 'we told you so', and my friends will call him names i'm not sure i really want to hear yet. It's what i always do when friends break up.

My resolve about not calling him is slowly weakening too. I mean, if he is going to come back surely one of us needs to break the ice? We're in limbo at the moment and he's probably feeling really silly. If i can just get him to talk to me i'm sure he will realise it's all just been a mistake and we can go back to how we were. Someone has to make the first move don't they?

I'm sitting here now watching crappy day-time television wondering if i should call his mobile and tell him i forgive him. I mean, looking at what some of the guests on the Jeremy Kyle Show have been up to makes him seem like an angel! But would Jeremy agree? Or would he tell me i'm worth more than that...?

I feel like an alcoholic trying not to have a drink. It's all i can think about! Well, him, not drink, obviously.

If every day is going to be like this surely i should save myself years of torture and just give in now and call him...